Life is...Waiting 4 Death

Life is...Waiting 4 Death

Just rants. Just rants. Just rants.
No checking. No filter. No censoring. No...

Just pure emotion. Pure heartache.
Pure sadness.

Confusion.

What?
What am I supposed to do?
How do you wait?
How do you wait for someone you love to die?
How do you go on as normal?
How do you be there for them?
What is enough?
What is right?
What helps?
What?

Cry. Cry. Breakdown.
Grieving before the death.
Grieving as if death had already come.
Grief.
Pain.
Sadness.

What do I say?
Do I pretend everything is normal?
Do I breakdown?
Do I say everything I’ve said before?

Do you know?
Do you know how I feel?
Do you know how much you’ll be missed?
Do you know?

Memories
I have them.
No - it’s not enough.

Don’t say contrite things.
Don’t try to take away my sadness.
Let me be.
Let me mourn.
Let me.

It may not be right, but this is how I feel.

I love you Gma!

~Nancy Bruscher
www.GenerationsToGenerations.com
Dedicated to Capturing Memories
Blog: https://lifeisbynancy.blogspot.com

Dreams (part 2)

Life is...Dreams (part 2)

Waiting for someone to die is hard, emotionally draining. I was miles away struggling: how do I be there for her and my family? Had I done enough? Had I said everything I wanted to say? I had, a million times, but still those doubts come. Gma wanted to go to heaven. I had never seen her stop fighting before. She was ready.

Sometimes I asked God, why don’t you take her? Please don’t make her suffer!

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

God’s timing is perfect!

Maybe Gma was ready, but her friends and family weren’t. God had something to teach us through that time of waiting.

Real Life

Life is…Real Life

I was watching NCIS; this particular episode was about WWII. I love stories about “The Greatest Generation”, about heroism & bravery. While watching the episode I felt this man’s pain. I dialed into the story and the sadness. Then it hit me. This story isn’t real! Why do I immerse myself in things that are fake instead of “Rejoicing with those who rejoice; weeping with those who weep.” Romans 12:15
Is it to disengage, to relax? Yet I can become fixated on movies and shows – they become part of my life, and I forget that there are people around me that have stories that need to be heard. “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~Maya Angelou

How many tragedies could be avoided if only someone would speak and someone would listen?
Do we give people around us more attention than we give video games, TV, or Facebook? I need a break and love watching shows, but I’m reminded not to forget what my priorities are. What will matter at the end of my life? How many shows I binge watched or video games I played, or how I impacted someone’s life and allowed that person to impact mine.

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